this has
this is
i dont
we just
carefully calculated
navigation
across populated rooms
Save 2 or 3 tasks
for one trip
I can wait
wait
wait
i have to limit
the exposure
wet palms
heart palpitations
limited eye contact
it’s an event
veins wet with adrenaline
straight to the brain
mind racing
mouth dry
tongue numb
focus on the chipped paint
the open window
the ceiling tiles
the wave of air through my fingers
i can feel the eyes
meticulously scanning
for mistakes
for minor imperfections
weakness
visible fear
i smile
not with the eyes
trying not to give myself away
feigning
coolness
effortlessness
while perspiration pools
across my forehead
just until my journey ends
and i am back
in my personal space
escape
survival
of swiveling faces
and glances that melt
survival survival
perceived but not felt
when the storm clears
my eyes walk across the room
up and down the walls
the room has remained untouched
but
it
felt
so
real
I Write the Bsides! 