Vines

Small vines of light

Crawl down from the sun

Pull my eyelids open

Scream into them

“You need to move

Time is sinking”

Instinctually

I pull the covers over the back of my head

Lay facedown

I like to feel the weight of them

Grounding me

I need to rise

Or let the rays fade

To Background noise

The trouble is that they’re LOUD

Front and center

Not peripheral

Not to be ignored

I try to surface from

The cave

Covers swallowing my face

Bags of sand

weight my limbs

Everything heavy

Molasses air

No life saver

I crawl on my elbows

Skinning them

Skimming for oxygen

It’s a lot

Right

Now

Not to know the anatomy

Of this sky

Still shuffling

A vaporous guest

Sits atop my chest

pins my arms

I’m Kicking and screaming

He Laughs at my infantile

attempts

to free myself

Kisses my lips

softly and says

“It’s

All

really

A lot

Right now

It’s okay

If you Lie down”

Energy waning

I sink back into myself

Wait for time to pass

Re-living the same four minutes

circling a small tank

It’s quiet here

Maybe I’ll peel myself off the floor

Some day…

If I have

the will

to surface

Askew

9-5 sucks the marrow from your bones

Wrings them dry of life

You speak the same 4 words

to the same 10 people

Met with the same generic responses

You then utter back

Little things become irritating

Small minds bend your ears in their direction

You pick up a consistent frequency

Of similar feeds

Speaking in weekdays, weekends

Love Fridays

Hate mondays

We know

Barely alive

Driven by

The same 6

Excruciatingly Monotonous tasks

Menial

Denial

This is what JUST what we do

They Chisel into you

If you attempt to pursue meaning

You’re a dreamer

Fuck you and your impossible pursuits

They rake you for wanting more

Press you up against their ideals

Until the weight numbs you

Feelings void

Stripped of desire

They Consume for power

Superiority

If they can’t have it

Neither can you

The longing

The pleasure

To touch beyond

The skew

Gold

You’ll never know what is to live in this head space

swimming in such a small tank that you can’t move without hitting glass

The same reoccurring

Nagging thoughts

Claustrophobic beyond measure

And you took the swim

Everyone who walks by is always tapping the glass

You’re on display, so you try to be on your best behavior and play it cool

But they’re loud

Always reminding you that they’re watching

Waiting to use your weakest moments against you to close the walls in tighter

So you don’t open your mouth and you don’t show them your flaws or your humanity

Because you’re afraid that they’ll keep you in that small tank

Even though you’re the one who jumped in

You know this

it doesn’t help to point it out

You don’t just leave this place